Over the last few months I have been on a journey of perseverance and roller coaster of emotions, generally managing to take the ups and downs in my stride. Each obstacle in my eyes has been a learning curve and each lesson learnt will make me a stronger person. Never once have I allowed myself to wallow in self pity nor have I had a morbid out look over this very real nightmare. That was until Wednesday evening.
After my latest chemotherapy treatment on the 16th of April, I was in relatively high spirits and my recovery rate was much quicker than any previous treatment. I was out of bed by the Sunday and my mouth had not ulcerated so aggressively due to a new steroid based mouth wash. Life was good! :)
Of course the elation of feeling better was short lived and I woke on Monday feeling so incredibly unwell. This progressed through to Wednesday when I also had to contend with cabin fever which had well and truly set in and I was going ever so slightly mad! I was experiencing shortness of breath but put this down to anxiety or stress and decided to head to the Garden Centre with my mum to prevent me pulling the precious, last remaining hairs out!
I quickly regretted my decision as the sweats and shakes kicked in and my shallow breathing turned into gasps of breath. As soon as I began to feel a deep stabbing sensation I knew I needed to get someone to take a look. We dashed to the hospital after panic buying pansies and pork chops and were quickly taken though to the triage Nurse and straight on the Majors ward.
Due to the obscene amount of drugs I take on a daily basis there are many tests and procedures the medical team have to follow. I was linked up to an ECG machine, which measures your heart beat and bloods were taken. I presumed this was all part of the procedure. After a short while the Doctor returned to tell me that they had seen something abnormal on my ECG, and the team will be treating me for a suspected pulmonary embolus, which is a blood clot in my Lung or an artery in my heart.
It was a good job I was on the hospital bed, because I can guarantee my legs would have given way on me at that point. For the first since diagnoses I questioned whether I would prevail from this disease and make it to fighting fit once again.
x KJ x