I'm generally a laid back kinda girl who rarely gets bent out of shape over the smaller things, it's a trait I have gratefully inherited from my Dad. This is why when I read about severe mood swings as a side effect I took it with a pinch of salt assuming my levelheaded disposition would not be affected. Ah bless, how wrong I was!
I woke up yesterday still buzzing from Tuesdays news. I have the classical type of Hodgkin's and the Cancer had localised in my neck and chest instead of throughout my lymphatic system, I was euphoric!
The elation however was bitter sweet and bought to an abrupt end yesterday afternoon after I received a call from my district nurse. She informed me, I would be having the permanent needle known as a PICC line fitted next Friday. The PICC line is used for the intravenous drugs used in chemotherapy and prevents the veins from collapsing as the drugs are particularly harsh. Reality had toe punted me right in the baby maker!
I reached a new low last night. I was numb and left unable to function!
Burying my head in my pillow seemed the easiest option. Instead I picked myself up, put some lippy on (always makes things better!) and took myself over to the boys house! During the drive, I sung so loudly and disgustingly out of tune by the time I arrived I had shaken the numbness and converted it to a feeling of relief that treatment was starting, I will be better sooner and I can wear my shoes quicker! :)
Everyday I'm faced with something new and this is a huge learning curve. I've now realised sometimes you need to take yourself out of the situation to acknowledge the greater good and move onwards and upwards as cheesy as it sounds!
x KJ x